The marriage is over,
Your life isn’t.
Divorce and Separation Therapy for Motivated WOmen.
You’ve tried everything you can think of to be happy together, and nothing has worked. You’re just done.
Divorce, Separation, “breaking up”, “conscious uncoupling,” “graduating from the marriage.” It’s all hard, and usually confusing. There’s too much water under the bridge, and it’s just not going to get fixed. You didn’t commit to this person with the intention of divorce. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, and love was supposed to be enough to make this relationship work and stand the test of time. Until, it’s not. When that happens, it’s hard enough to untangle your shared life together, you don’t need the “well-intentioned” (but unhelpful) advice or the weird dynamic it creates with friends. Sometimes, you don’t want to “be the bigger person” and not play nice, and the pressure to be amicable is too much. Not to mention that although you may be okay with this divorce, shame and guilt can come up randomly when thinking through what it means to work so hard at something and not be able to fix it. All of it is part of the package, but that doesn’t make it easy to deal with.
But you’re still feeling…
Resentful that it didn’t couldn’t be fixed.
Disconnected from your people, because they don’t know how to handle it.
Overwhelmed by all the legal stuff you suddenly have to deal with, custody arrangements, and the idea of doing this on your own.
Therapy can help you stay true to you when it all falls apart.
Anger, bitterness, sadness, grieving, and fear are part of the package of divorce. There’s no getting around that. Losing a partner is one of the most stressful events according to research. We do things we regret when we are stressed because we are completely worn out. Therapy helps you to manage and process the stress so you can live with yourself when the dust settles.
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Of course. Of course you are. You just tried to save a relationship, that is a LOT of hard work. This is a place for you to just land and rest and take a break from that.
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Yes. Totally. It is infuriating to be committed to a person, put all your love and trust in them, and then have to redo your entire life when it falls apart. You are not going to this angry forever. We will navigate resentment, unfair systemic issues, and unrealistic expectations that lead to anger, so you can stay aligned with your values, and handle this the way you want.
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Yeah. It is. We can't take that away.
But it's kind of like going through giving birth. The only person who can have that baby, is the pregnant person. No one can deliver that baby for them. BUT, hopefully, they have a team cheering them on, and holding their hand, and celebrating when the new life is here. Although you have to labor this new life into the world, you're going to have support the whole time.
At the end of the day, I want you to know:
This an ending, but it’s not the ending. Whether this is your choice or not, your life will continue on. Take care of yourself now, so the your life is every bit as amazing as you deserve.
not sure where to start?
Topics we discuss in session:
Worrying about how this affects the kids
How to handle this while trying to keep a career, or if you need a leave from work
How to communicate what you need right now with the people closest to you.
Any and all emotions attached to major life changes - fear, worry, anger, grief
What to do to feel safe in your body again
Managing stress and anxiety around change
How divorce can be isolating, and how to show up in friendships authentically
Any spiritual beliefs that have may been altered by your divorce, and if you want to rebuild them later
Sorting out dynamics with in-laws, your options, and how you want to handle it.
Systems that make divorce harder for women and mothers
What we’ll work on
Identifying your values and priorities to give clarity.
Improve your ability to make decisions that feel authentic to who you are
Learn how to advocate for yourself and your family in the face of such confusion.
No longer feel like you have to placate relationships that aren’t serving you.
Gain new communication skills to articulate your needs and ask for what you want.
Your story is welcome here.
Your story is welcome here.
Questions?
FAQs
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Nope. Getting a divorce or ending a partnership is a very personal experience, and you have to take action that is right for you. This is an opportunity to model how to handle the big stuff when they're adults. If your kids are struggling with this, we can talk about when to get help for them, without you blaming and shaming yourself.
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This is a more and more common experience. Any time people go through significant life changes, I recommend they increase their support. It doesn't have to be devastating for you to learn from it. Some people genuinely have good divorce experiences, and that's great. I want that for you. I also want you to have every chance to build a life you love.
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It is a reality that sometimes, marriages end and domestic violence occurs. I've been in the social work field for a while, and I've worked with people leaving abusive relationships. You are doing the bravest thing by not staying in it, and you also know your partner best. I'm not going to minimize your concerns, and part of our work will be getting you resources for safety.