https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1 daily 0.75 2026-11-09 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/willingness-a-key-piece-of-healthy-relationships-s77ff monthly 0.5 2026-11-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1793815278663-2KILUCZG1JO3Y1GFIP5B/unsplash-image-8N0oIGSSNcU.jpg MGC Blog - Willingness: A key piece of healthy relationships https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1793815172457-JV4Y87GMFBJPZBUHSU7A/unsplash-image-GpplHQ-fyvA.jpg MGC Blog - Willingness: A key piece of healthy relationships - Many people who found out I had a practice partner would have one of two reactions - “Oh, wow, good for you, I could never”, or, “Oof. Hope you guys stay friends.” Because they knew then what I know now - most business partnerships are like a marriage in terms of commitment level. But, unlike most marriages, they often don’t survive. And, spoiler alert, we did not stay friends and we did not stay business partners. I’m going to keep the details private, but let’s just say it didn’t end well for either of us and we are not on speaking terms now. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1793815502430-YOZTK4Q23YK2HV9BH5T8/unsplash-image-N8236Np5FC8.jpg MGC Blog - Willingness: A key piece of healthy relationships - I do remember this part clearly - I had received a text message about work, and tossed my phone down and thought, “I can’t deal with this anymore. I just don’t care anymore. Fuck it.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1793825336091-Q3GP83HFSEY1MLZUHAG4/unsplash-image-BAvznB-8yFQ.jpg MGC Blog - Willingness: A key piece of healthy relationships - Here are some signs you might not be willing to keep a relationship anymore. You feel bored or complacent when you are with them. You feel restless or listless in their presence. You know that you are needing to respond to their messages: text, fb, email, voicemail, whatever, and you can’t bring yourself to do it bc it’s just too much effort. You feel like you only put in effort and get nothing back, and it feels like a chore. You find yourself avoiding spending time together. You stop listening to their side of conversations. You assume they’re wrong about things instead of hearing them out. You constantly find yourself saying, “I just don’t care.” You notice you’ve gone a fair amount of time without even thinking about them. You stop considering their needs, it feels like a waste of time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1793825588043-YJLLICZ1TQMFWNEXR3L7/unsplash-image-HLGMLpxOSjk.jpg MGC Blog - Willingness: A key piece of healthy relationships - One of my college professors always said that relationships of all kinds are like a sinking boat with two people in it (super uplifting, thanks Dr. Hartley ). If the relationship is going to work and the boat stay afloat, both people have to bail water. If both stop, the boat will sink. And if only one bails water, the boat will sink. So as you’re assessing, make sure that you like the boat you’re in, and if you’re both bailing water, fight like hell for it. Most relationships are well worth it. https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/self-energy-the-man-the-myth-the-legend monthly 0.5 2026-08-13 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786047824440-66S9DB4ASEB3DWGC5P1F/unsplash-image-8xkgMDnflqk.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786045698621-G015FEPSQM00H7AEVL0L/unsplash-image-rjnIYeC6rmA.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786047753290-KG1P4S9J07X0YQ9VR0Z5/unsplash-image-lp1AKIUV3yo.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786047876265-R8LZ9SOEGQ9V0TIUZCMX/unsplash-image-VijD0iAIy7s.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786045965135-4M7MG0J0E75OEA3GPVLX/unsplash-image-4rDCa5hBlCs.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786047233615-BERL7V0PQ7N4QS98K03S/unsplash-image-DwIPUjnRVRM.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786046161653-ETM7P1RNJF5X8Z33LQ6L/unsplash-image-v2HgNzRDfII.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786046193749-GG5DLFEXLB1J87A2QMAZ/unsplash-image-SqOMDOQb3ws.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786046230573-1TN6Y1DWTES74EIWSIF1/unsplash-image-lBCpc87rtKo.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786046331112-0JE70W02Y0LLSYILKDNS/unsplash-image-Q1p7bh3SHj8.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786046273793-7Y69MYMUUH7ZKGZTQ4KQ/unsplash-image--IMlv9Jlb24.jpg MGC Blog - Self Energy - The Man, The Myth, The Legend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/parenting-during-chaotic-times-from-jean-val-jean-himself monthly 0.5 2026-08-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1785259862113-U3RK1DD2X5AH4QULBZB3/unsplash-image-MAUzEmSHMcs.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - Musicals have always been my window to the world. As an introverted and intuitive young girl, I often watched stories rather than participated in them. One of my favorites of all time was Les Miserables. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786537305537-MT2B70OVXXWVN1S9DMPY/unsplash-image-8bGKXJ7kt-k.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - One of the songs that I loved even then but couldn’t understand was the song “Bring Him Home” sung by Jean Val Jean, a man who has always been running from his past. He’s singing about his pseudo son-in-law, Marius, a French-revolutionary, who’s about to be called up and who his daughter had essentially just fallen in love with…it’s definitely a drama. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786537093671-9LSZSTGXUOGS6SGB25P0/unsplash-image-gIex87wr_Bk.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - The first verse of the song goes: “God on high, hear my prayer. In my need, you have always been there. He is young, he’s afraid, let him rest, heaven blessed. Bring him home, bring him home bring him home.” This initial verse is haunting, to say the least. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786537191156-KIKE0KBSCF3ZEEVRXM2W/unsplash-image-wCIDfKBMDHE.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - And yet, the second verse is, even more, if you can believe it. Jean says, “He’s like the son I might have known, if God had granted me a son. The summers die one by one, how soon they fly, on and on. And I am old, and will be gone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786537439034-G5ZTWTH8KTTQIW5U240N/unsplash-image-Y3UPvaM79mY.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - So I ask myself, How can a parent even hear that? What do they feel? I can’t even imagine the pain and fear someone must feel begging for the life of someone they love to be spared. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786537789522-HMJ0NR1NHPFX6DKJO2ZT/unsplash-image-zP6Rfyw6PAs.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - And also this song lands in my bones, because I look around and see myself and all the other adults around me praying this over the next generation, frequently. We are wringing our hands as we beg the universe, “Please please please let our babies survive this. Take me if you have to, but leave them alone. I’m begging you.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786538153895-YULYPNY9DNG34RJDNX1B/unsplash-image-vVSleEYPSGY.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - But guess what, mama: I can’t speak for every adult. But I will speak for most our generation: We are tired of this shit, and we do not want these modern perils the US government has instilled in our system and inflicted on our souls. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786537754773-SPOYLZO3ZSF196UFPZFD/unsplash-image-_qnkSOhwt80.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - I talk about these issues, Every. Dang. Day. My clients, every therapist’s clients, are bringing it into the room. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786539305830-6K4CH0PETJ7THLSTDRSJ/unsplash-image-ngN4CTsIBjE.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - You need to know: You are not alone in this fear for your babies world. We all are trying to fix this together and you are not the only one afraid and up at night. We are all trying to make the world a safer place. You. Are. Not. Alone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786538390540-N5BV6MPR2YHQBRJZOTRE/unsplash-image-CCjgYjUudxE.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - So, what can Jean Val Jean teach us about love and parenting? He teaches us that after we know something to be true, we act like it. Spoiler Alert: The next part of the story is that Jean Val Jean does in fact find Marius, wounded, and saves his life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1786538614198-E8A9YNTTSRR6MGWM9KTR/unsplash-image-DNkoNXQti3c.jpg MGC Blog - Parenting During Chaotic Times - from Jean Val Jean himself - In the small way Jean can help, he does. He, basically, becomes the answer to his own prayer. He asked to bring Marius home, and then Jean makes himself available to have this happen. If you know something is true, make yourself available to help it become what the world needs. https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/internal-family-systems-theory-ifs-definition-cheatsheet monthly 0.5 2026-08-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1780424167762-5T5JAKUY4M0KJ1LDOZU0/unsplash-image-MiSPnHknw4w.jpg MGC Blog - Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) Definition Cheatsheet: - Family Systems (The OG) Family Systems (The OG) - A framework to explain how a family works. A psychiatrist named Dr. Murray Bowen came up with this idea - families are like machines. machines have pieces and gears, and each one does a job. He would have pictured a clock or car (he’s from the 1950s), but today this would be more like a laptop. It’s got a screen, a keyboard, firmware, software, etc. Each member of the family is like a piece of that machine, and they all do “a job” in the family. Internal Family Systems - a theory that uses the OG theory, and applies it to just one person instead of a whole family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1780427273697-EE12QZCLM66HS2C1I7T6/unsplash-image-bqp5dbkJP7g.jpg MGC Blog - Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) Definition Cheatsheet: - IFS - Internal Family Systems Richard Schwartz then expanded this concept to apply it individuals, so that in every person there are many parts that have specific roles. Have you seen the Disney-Pixar movie “Inside Out?” Then you have seen this theory, as that movie was based off of Dr. Schwartz’s theory. Cool, huh? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1780424654551-XIVDPPMD8YV63MKXDNPH/unsplash-image-w8hDjM2lr3s.jpg MGC Blog - Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) Definition Cheatsheet: - Burden Burden - the pain that comes from experiencing trauma. It’s a symbol of the pain and their new responsibility to prevent it in the future. Burdens are usually explained as a heavy load or an item that has to be kept safe. Parts carry burdens. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1780424899307-QJJHN4705T3E6EU0GY6G/unsplash-image-nb6fyVMRkaE.jpg MGC Blog - Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) Definition Cheatsheet: - Parts - A part is a piece of a human that does a specific thing. A gear, a chain, etc. In Inside Out, these are the emotion characters. They all have a “job” which is to help the whole person, and they all want to do their job to the best of their ability. Here, parts are labeled a firefighter, manager, or exile. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1780425196815-W4VKWIKU1XU31I8WOHHV/unsplash-image-newCTAG6kPE.jpg MGC Blog - Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) Definition Cheatsheet: - Firefighter - This part puts out emotional fires. An emotional fire could be anything uncomfortable - overwhelm, fear, anger, pain. They think this is dangerous, and they do what any good firefighter would do - put out the fire, no matter what. This is done in an effort to help, but it usually means that some methods will cause damage - think water damage in a structure fire. This can look like addiction, avoidance, angry outbursts, self harm, etc. Unfortunately, firefighters get a bad rap as being irresponsible. But remember, they are trying to help. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1780425183947-IVCOPL6BQWZHQPZ2XDFW/unsplash-image-5aiRb5f464A.jpg MGC Blog - Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) Definition Cheatsheet: - Manager - Manager - This part manages the behaviors of the human and others. They want to prevent problems, so that the human never has to feel- pain, fear, anger, overwhelm, loneliness, sadness in the first place. If a firefighter gets labeled as irresponsible, the manager gets labeled as responsible, or even uptight. These parts get called codependency, anxiety, worry, and controlling. They want to be accepted and presentable, no matter what, and their tools often praised - self-control, discipline, rigidity, perfectionism, never asking for help, excessive accountability, and high performing careers. They are want control over a chaotic situation, and usually are “the good kid.” Remember, they are trying to help. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1780425121651-DK29OGYSMSSGG9IXBFXA/unsplash-image-7NPPkIASW9E.jpg MGC Blog - Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) Definition Cheatsheet: - Exile- The most vulnerable part. They hold the burdens. Because these parts are child-like and young, they can’t see the full story on how things turned out. They get frozen in time, because all they can do is hold the burden. They don’t understand the world yet, and their brains aren’t developed enough to, either. They can’t use adult logic, so they make meaning in the only way they know how - black and white rules that aren’t true. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1780425171026-SLJKT1H6ACBV50CIWPWH/unsplash-image-nv_n_tHC2lo.jpg MGC Blog - Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) Definition Cheatsheet: - Protection and Consent Managers and Firefighters protect exiles. Full stop. Any time we try to get close to exiles to try to heal them, the manager and firefighter jump in to protect, so no one gets hurt again. Like having two older sisters to protect a baby brother. They have a “you’ll have to go through me” mentality, and we have to earn their trust and gain their consent to be able to help the exile. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/1780426117478-YLU96KZD7HGW1I2I6I92/unsplash-image-ELPo4uJVX_8.jpg MGC Blog - Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) Definition Cheatsheet: - Self Energy - My personal favorite Self Energy This one is my personal favorite piece. - in each person, there is one last important piece, but it’s typically not seen as a “part.” This is mainly viewed as a loving personality style-energy each person can access and tap into within themselves. It’s almost like a very simplified version of the force in Star Wars, except everyone is able to use it. Or, like a current in the ocean you can choose to swim in or use to guide you. The healing in therapy happens when the therapist and the clients are in self energy, and they are able to help the parts get their needs met through guided imagery. Self Energy is known by 8 Characteristics, like a personality trait. These are in the infographic below, and this is from the IFS institute. https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/theneon-flashingelephantlightofcodependencyandhowtofaceit monthly 0.5 2026-07-21 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/simple-breathing-exercise-for-anxiety monthly 0.5 2025-03-12 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/how-to-body-scan-to-soothe-anxiety monthly 0.5 2025-03-12 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/simple-coping-skills monthly 0.5 2025-03-12 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/healing-trauma-through-movement monthly 0.5 2025-03-12 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/blog-post-title-four-epztd monthly 0.5 2025-03-12 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/blog-post-title-three-wb9ak monthly 0.5 2025-03-12 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/blog-post-title-two-wtcex monthly 0.5 2025-03-12 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/blog-post-title-one-w4r65 monthly 0.5 2025-03-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66f1e177e1b7b113e31799b0/57e6b261-b921-44ca-af31-5a45558e0ae4/pinball+machine.jpg MGC Blog - No Bad Feelings - When you’re feeling an uncomfortable emotion, try to imagine that your body is a pinball machine. The ball is the emotion, and your body is the machine. When the ball, the emotion, gets really intense, it is pinging around in your body and lighting you up. In the game of pinball, you want to keep the ball up in the lights and sounds of the board, and consistently dinging around. With an emotion, you might want to keep it up there, like if you’re happy. But if the emotion is uncomfortable, you have power over that too. You stop playing the game, the ball drops, the game ends. Same with emotions. You stop doing what is contributing to the emotion, the emotion wanes, and you move on with your day. It is possible to let the emotion pass and then move forward. You aren’t ignoring it, shoving it down, pretending you don’t have it. You’re just letting it take its course and pass through you, and then letting it go. https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/category/relationships monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/category/partnerships monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/category/marriage monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/category/checklist monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/category/conversations monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/tag/Parenting monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/tag/How+to+parent+while+terrified monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/tag/Codependency monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/tag/healthy+relationships monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/tag/Musicals monthly 0.5 https://www.meggreggcounseling.com/blog-4-1/tag/warning+signs+of+codependency monthly 0.5 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